Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
