I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
