chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize