Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
