After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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