I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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