We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
