Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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