Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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