just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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