She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
