matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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