Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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