Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
