DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
