I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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