I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
