your parents love me but you hate me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
