i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
