I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
