My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
