You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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