And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
