Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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