How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just google imaged poop.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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