i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drunk is not a location!
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