Don't make out with my wife yet
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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