I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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