Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize