don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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