is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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