If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
