you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
