i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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