Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
