Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
