I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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