girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
