I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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