At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize