ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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