I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
