The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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