His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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