i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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