My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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