If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.