Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist