Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
