Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
