You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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