Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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