We won't sleep together?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
