im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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