belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
