So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize