help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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