And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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