i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
