What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
