Porn is love you can see.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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